Frequently Asked Questions of Mike Burns

I'm asked many things. Some, like questions involving the addition of vectors or dates of events, are not asked much; others, especially ones involving my sneakers, my face, and my hair, are common questions. I figure that if I put them all in one place I can be asked more interesting, new questions.

In addition, I have a full sneaker FAQ with additional questions and answers.

• Why don't you cut your hair?
• You don't have a word processor?!
• How many computers do you have?
• What kind of music do you listen to?
• Who is your favourite band?
• Did you know that only half of your face is shaved?
• Do you only have one side burn?
• Why do you only shave half of your face?

Why don't you cut your hair?

• It didn't to anything to me; why should I hurt it?!
• Laziness.
• Short hair is ugly.

You don't have a word processor?!

• Right.
• What would I do with one, were I to have one?

How many computers do you have?

• Working computers only, or all of them?
• Six.
• Six:
  • Laptop: Compaq Presario, 266MHz
  • Dell OptiPlex, 133MHz
  • Acer Aspire, 133MHz
  • Compaq DeskPRO, 20MHz
  • HP Pavilion, 133MHz
  • Doorstop: MassCOMP, not sure how to use it

What kind of music do you listen to?

• Classic rock.
• Mostly classic rock, plus some punk and modern rock.

Who is your favourite band?

• I don't have one.
• Pink Floyd.
• Talking Heads.
• Yeah, they are.

Did you know that only half of your face is shaved?

• No, thanks for the heads-up.
• I knew that I forgot something!
• Yep.

Do you only have one side burn?

• No.
• Yep.

Why do you only shave half of your face?

• Because I'm too lazy to shave both sides.
• To free Switzerland from its oppressive rule.
• I'm too busy to do both halfs.
• To keep the zebras from attacking me.

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