High School, Senior Year

So, I'm really, really close to finally leaving this awful place known as high school. I can barely wait to get out.

Consider an average school day:

  1. Awake at six in the morning. Shower, check my email, pack my stuff. Out the door before 7:15AM.
  2. Deal with peers until first class, which is one of:
  3. Sit through boring material until the "nine minute break" before my second class, during which I down a can of Coke, or as much of it as I can.
  4. Sit through boring material until study (It's not study, it's Academic Support Center!), where I do homework due for the remaining classes. This homework is usually incomplete, but no one really cares.
  5. Lunch. At 10:30. That's breakfast time, mind you. School lunch is left-overs, every day. I opt for the Twix in the vending machine, which is sure to stick, requiring me to get two Twixen. $1.50 poorer, I down another Coke to stay awake for the next two classes.
  6. Sleep through boring material.
  7. No break; sleep through next class's boring material.
  8. Leave school ASAP. Even the smell gets to me.
  9. Eventually arrive home. Avoid homework because it reminds me of school.

My Peers

Want to lose faith in humanity and our future? Meet my peers. There are the blondes who couldn't think their way out of a mime's cardboard box. There are the jocks, who are so awesome because they have cell phones, talk about drugs all day long, and wear khakis.

Next, we have the "goths", so called because they wear all black and look unhappy. These often mix with those screaming for attention, following any subculture they can lay their grubby hands on. And, who can forget myself and my friends, telling dead baby jokes down the hallway.

I think I can count the people I will miss on one hand. Thumb not included.

Break Time

Nine minutes is not a break, especially when it takes ten minutes to walk casually from one end of the school to the other. No time to stop at your locker if you are walking; better jog. Or run.

I run to the cafeteria, the only place where food and drink is allowed. Aside from the administration's hand, which is filled with a cup of coffee all the time, of course. I usually am able to finish three-fourths of a can of Coca-Cola in the time it takes for me to arrive at the cafeteria and sit down, as long as I don't talk to anyone as well.

Lunch is less than twenty minutes -- adequate (not ample) time, assuming that we marched in, grabbed our food, sat immediately, and ate. We don't. We loll in, stand in lines for our slop, and fifteen minutes later start the painful process of inserting the gruel into our bodies via our mouth. If you want to say "hi" to someone, or find out how another's weekend went, you'd better find that person in the giant line while you're waiting.


School is approximately seven hours long. Seven hours of teachers, peers, and administrative bullshit. What is expected, of course, is that we will do homework that evening. Homework is an extension of school, allowing us to practice what the teacher taught that day. The teacher taught, however, that the person who copied his homework from Roger, but more neatly, will earn an A, while Roger earned a B for effort. The homework has something to do with punctuation and use of commas. I don't see the connection.

What of those who understand the lesson and need no reinforcing homework? They do the homework anyway, or suffer a zero averaged into their grade. Depending on the class, this could mean failing. Who cares that you know the material?


High school sucks. Sure, I have constructive criticism and wise words for future high school plans, but no one cares. I've voiced them, my friends have voiced them, my annoying peers have voiced them, even teachers have voiced them. No one cares about changing the high school. It's all about money and politics.

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Mike Burns <mike@mike-burns.com>


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Mike Burns <mike@mike-burns.com>